Week 25: The Edge of Viability
by Sharon Tjaden-Glass
A baby cannot survive outside of the womb prior to 21 weeks.
At 23 weeks, it has a 10-35% chance of survival with significant intervention.
At 24 weeks, it increases to the 40-70% range.
At 25 weeks, it’s 50-80%.
At 26 weeks, it’s 80-90%.
In this short time span, some women end their pregnancies. Many of them have received devastating, terminal diagnoses at their 20-week ultrasound scan. Diagnoses that end with the crushing phrases like, “little chance of survival” or even “incompatible with life.”
Anencephaly. Bilateral renal agenesis. Severe spina bifida. Severe heart and lung defects.
To obtain an abortion past 20 weeks inspires the ire of millions of anti-abortion advocates. This anger has boiled over into politicized (not medical) terms like “partial birth abortion.”
Yet only 1.2% of all abortions are performed after 21 weeks in the United States.
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As I stand here on the edge of viability, I ask my fellow citizens who are the most enraged about second trimester abortions this:
Do you think that I would choose to end this pregnancy for some selfish, frivolous reason?
After having coming so far?
Through nausea and indigestion
Fatigue and weight gain
Only to decide to end this pregnancy because I don’t realize the sanctity of life?
Do you think that I don’t feel the weight of this life inside of me?
Do you trust me to understand what it would mean to end my pregnancy at this point?
Or do you think that I need laws to keep me in my place?
Do you trust me to carry this life?
Do you really care about my child?
Do you really care about me?
And if you say that you do…
Does your concern for the well-being of my child end once it’s in my arms?
Would you do an about-face once my child is born and tell me now it’s your responsibility, not the government’s?
Do you care whether my child and I have an income
while I recover from the stretching, the pushing, the tearing, the leaking, the constant waking, the weeping?
Does your heart break like mine does when I have to return to work just six weeks later?
Does it?
If we want to respect the sanctity of life, that means respecting the mother who carries that life as well.
It means not turning up your nose when someone bemoans our nation’s lack of guaranteed, paid maternity leave.
It means not decrying the fact that your taxes are used to pay for programs like Medicaid, WIC, Head Start, food stamps, and subsidized childcare.
It means not demonizing clinics like Planned Parenthood, which millions of women rely on for their health care services.
It means that you don’t flag down a store’s security guard to report that a woman is breastfeeding her child in public.
To me, the terms “pro-life” and “pro-choice” don’t completely encapsulate what we’re talking about.
What is “life” without health?
Who “chooses” death over life?
These are the questions that the terms “pro-life” and “pro-choice” evoke. And I think they entirely miss the point.
I believe and will always believe that pregnant women feel the weight of the life inside of them.
It can be exhilarating.
It can be terrifying.
But I don’t think that pregnant women feel nothing.
To characterize the need for second trimester abortion restrictions as a way to “keep women from killing children” does a great disservice to what many of these mothers and fathers face when they walk out of the doors of their 20-week ultrasound.
Reeling from the worst possible news.
Figuring out whether to or how to end the pregnancy
Determining if they’ll have to travel to another state in order to do so
Wondering if they will be expected to “explain” to family, friends, co-workers, and even acquaintances why they are ending the pregnancy.
Waiting for judgment to fall on them.
This is so powerful and told with such eloquence! I’m with you. xoxo
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Thank you, Dana! Always love to hear from you 🙂
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A powerful piece. I saw a programme only the other day where a mother described a second trimester ‘termination’. NOT an easy choice, far from it and a choice I only hope I’m never forced to make. xx
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Absolutely. Women today are in an especially different position than women who lived just 100 years ago. Today, we can know 20 weeks ahead of time that a baby has a terminal diagnosis. 100 years ago, women would not have that knowledge that far in advance. They would miscarry or give birth to a baby that would die. But they wouldn’t be put in the position to have to make a decision about whether or not to end a pregnancy. But now that this is where we are with technology, it seems to me that the conversation needs to change.
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As the previous commentator said…
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I love this. I often wondered before I got pregnant if I would change my mind about abortion once I did become pregnant some day. As it turns out, it’s only reinforced my belief that it absolutely SHOULD be legal. And yes, the hypocrisy of the pro-life movement is appalling.
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Once upon a time, I was very “pro-life.” My rationale went something like “that’s cruel” and “women should pay the price of they get pregnant.” I wouldn’t say that out loud, but it’s what I would think. Of course, those thoughts are completely divorced of the context surrounding the pregnancy. Time and conversations with actual people who have been through tough situations has done a lot to mellow me out. I understand that staunch pro-lifers want every life to have a chance. But until we create a culture that welcomes and cares for those vulnerable lives, born to mothers who are not ready to have them, I think it’s unjust to tell women to have children that they cannot afford. And, goodness, paying for a child (especially childcare!) Is very, very expensive.
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Amen! I couldn’t agree more with every word you said. I used to feel the same way but over time my feelings have changed.
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So I’m twenty weeks pregnant and 150 lbs figuratively. I’m reading your book. It’s so good. Not sure if I’ll ever be pregnant again. Have been twice. Have no kids. But it’s cool taking your journey with you. Thank you for the gift. I love the book. I’ll update again. 🙂
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People are not well educated on this topic. I know I wasn’t. Untill, I was twenty-three-weeks pregnant. My water sacs broke, gushing more than water, a fever and about three heart surgeries prior. When you tell people the story, which I don’t they still can’t and don’t embrace the situation. I appreciate the way you defined pro-life and pro-choice by saying they don’t completely encapsulate what’s going on. I understand the empathy behind, people who can’t seem to find the grey area. I’ve been on both sides. As painful and shameful it is to say this: I don’t know where myself or my family would be without “the right to choose” This was informative, thank you for your bravery.
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Yes. And many of them are passionate about their feelings. But when you combine passion without empathy and/or experience, you end up in many of the vitriolic conversations that complete strangers have with each other on social media. It’s frustrating, but I find comfort in knowing that I’m raising my daughter to have empathy for others. And that carries on and on.
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I know, its frustrating, sad and know one gives anybody any leeway.
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I feel the same with you. My son had passed away 2 weeks ago. He had multiple congenital anomaly. I felt awful to know his multiple congenital anomaly when he was born. I did everything for him to be survive with surgery. But God only give me a chance to look after him just only 5 months.
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I’m so sorry for your loss… Sending you prayers as you process and move through this time of grief.
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