Becoming Mother

A book and a blog for first-time mothers

Mothering Through the Darkness: Anthology of the Postpartum Experience

Dana Schwartz, contributor to “Mothering Through the Darkness” share her thoughts on this new, amazing book.

writing at the table

MOTHERINGTHRUDARK

“My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me. My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. Til then I walk alone.”  
– I Walk Alone by Green Day

I felt so lonely as a new mother. Isolated, ashamed, angry, and ungrateful. None of which was appropriate since I had gotten exactly what I wanted – a healthy baby girl.

Looking back, it was shame that silenced me. How dare I be miserable when I was holding what I wanted in my arms? So I swallowed it all, and it ate me up.

I loved my baby. Deeply. During moments of peace, when she was sleeping and I wasn’t crying with exhaustion or despair, I’d stare at her beautiful face and trace her features with my eyes, wanting to memorize every curve, every angle. I relished the shape of her…

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What was the most surprising thing about new motherhood?

Here’s what I thought:

What was surprising to you? I’d love to hear from you!

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